doris the pregasaurus

Kick Mom like Beckham

I might have to name this kid Becks. He is getting quite good at kicking at only 20 weeks! Either that or punching- too early to tell. But he either loves egg salad or can’t fucking stand it- he’s going nuts in there. This is going to be awesome when he’s like 4x this size in a few weeks.

Oh, that’s right! It’s a boy! Hooray! We found out three weeks ago when the ultrasound tech told us, in her wonderful russian accent: “Here is pee-pee”. Which I suppose is the going medical term these days?

Remembering Goldfinger.

When I was in college, I took a job at a friend’s recommendation. This started a bad pattern of taking jobs on the word of friends- this has really never worked out for me.

But bad-decision-job-zero, as I’ll call it, was working for a pet-care service. In theory, it was was great for me, as an art student. Very flexible hours, and I got to spend a lot of time outside walking cute dogs, or inside playing with cute cats. I also got to walk the dogs of NYC’s semi-elite: Broadway stars, talk show hosts, newspeople. Not too shabby.  The one drawback was the batshit crazy owner of the service. As I got better at the job, I got the “reward” responsibility of caring for the owner’s pets. (While she slept in, of course.)

These pets were spoiled. Her dog, Fritz, was a tiny Bichon Frise who could not resist picking fights with bigger dogs. His second-favorite pasttime was peeing on exposed wires in the bases of streetlamps. They all ate organic, homemade food, which you’d have to prep in the early morning. Did I mention that the owner was blissfully asleep this whole time?

Anyway, one morning in a groggy haze, I was prepping Fritz’s tofu and veggies while cleaning out the bird cage. I forgot to insert the bar that kept the flaps of the cage open, yet Goldfinger, the parrot, climbed up anyway. When he got to the top and attempted to climb up, the top flaps of the cage came crashing down. Goldfinger was fine, just scared. I felt terrible.

Seconds later, the owner comes scrambling out of bed, all crazy-eyed and half naked, screaming, “GOLDFINGER! WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU?!”  She had to settle for an explanation from me, of course. Goldfinger’s vocabulary just really wasn’t at the stage where he could throw blame around.  For the record, Goldfinger was fine. I, on the other hand, have this image burned into my brain for life.

In my current job, I have a similar boss, who will never ask me questions about my work or emails I send, but will ask others in earshot. (Luckily she is almost always fully clothed at the time, despite her love of tank tops and exposed armpit hair, which is awesome to look at while pregnancy nausea rules my life.) Why is that? They may not be parrots, but I am still pretty sure that I am the person most qualified to answer the questions…

um, awesome?

Yesterday my boss asked me how I was feeling after some recent pregnancy-related health worries. As I relayed the story of my trip to the specialist, she said, “He must have been confused, you don’t even look pregnant…”

And then followed with, “…you just look like you have a beer belly.”

This job is the best argument for stay-at-home motherhood I’ve encountered yet.

I never should have visited this site!

It is all just TOO beautiful. I want EVERYTHING on it. Check it out, you’ll be sorry. Just like me.  Can I just register here?

*reaches for credit card*

http://www.house8810.com/Browse.aspx?Category=mi_3|little_ones

Moving to Canada might still work.

Interesting article about the sorry state of maternity leave in the US. I’m not a federal or government employee anymore, but I’m also not covered by FMLA as I will have been at my job less than a year by the time our kid is born. I’ll be lucky to get 6 weeks.

From the article:

The U.S. is one of three nations of 181 studied by Harvard and McGill universities that don’t guarantee working mothers leave with compensation, and researchers say it pays the price in lost productivity and health risks for children. The two other countries are Papua New Guinea and Swaziland.

Read the rest here: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-02-22/america-last-among-peers-with-no-paid-federal-maternity-leave.html

Don’t mess with the Zofran.

Somehow, at 16+ weeks knocked up, I am being revisited by morning sickness. I had such a bad first trimester, I was excited to feel better about two weeks ago, and finally ditch the prescription drugs I’d been taking for morning sickness through the first trimester. 

Zofran was a big help, but another source of anxiety. I’m on a few meds for asthma but even they make me nervous- everything I put in my body makes me worry that I’m hurting the little alien growing inside. So far, though, everything is going well, and I’m grateful that I was able to function despite being desperately ill for 6 weeks or so. 

But today, inexplicably. the sickness has returned. I went to a music class with my 2 year old goddaughter this weekend, so it could be a nice present from one of those adorable little germ factories toddlers that populated the class. Or perhaps a reaction to the lovely rich food we ate this weekend?

UPDATE: my husband, the wonderful papasaurus, just emerged from his office cocoon with a report of gastro-distress… so maybe this is some sort of illness… so I’m not going to feel bad about having a coke and a bagel for lunch anymore.  

Dear office mates,

Please remember that I am now blessed with the unwanted superpower of bionic smell. Therefore, cleaning out the fridge at 3pm on a Friday and DUMPING THE ROTTING FOOD IN THE OFFICE TRASH is cruel at best.

xoxo,

pregasaurus

something tells me…

… this was not her birth plan. 

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/17/stuck-in-traffic-woman-gives-birth-in-lincoln-tunnel/?ref=nyregion